MEETING PEOPLE MADE EASIER
Volume 2, Number 3  |  March 2008

Tomorrow, I'm heading off to South by Southwest in Austin, TX.

If you've never been nor heard of it, SXSW (as it's abbreviated) is a two-week extravaganza of arts conferences, panels, films, music and parties, with thousands of people descending upon the awesome college town (and state capitol!) to meet, learn and inspire one another. Oh--and, um, drink a lot of coffee and cocktails.

I came late to the world of conferences. Somehow, I managed to avoid them all those years I worked as a copywriter for big agencies, which is just as well, because the shindigs sounded dead boring--nothing like the lively SXSW.

The problem for me was that I had no idea what to do at a conference. At all. I'd basically lived the first 44 years of my life never hearing the word "networking." Which is actually kind of great, since "networking" is a really corrupted, co-opted form of plain, old "meeting people." And, as a dyed-in-the-wool introvert, I wasn't even very good at that.

Fortunately, I've learned a few key things about meeting people that makes the process easier. Oddly enough (okay, not really) they're lessons I learned in other, previous lives that had nothing to do with meeting people.

Get on them.

This is Acting 101, but it's a lesson actors come back to again and again, because it's so hilariously easy to forget. When you feel at a loss in a scene--self-conscious, unsure of what your next line is, forgetting why the hell you're there at all--the quickest way to get back into the moment is to get off yourself and onto your partner. (Ahem.)

In acting, you're always trying to get something from the other person--some kind of emotion or action. You can look at a conversation the same way, although it's probably best to start with the simple idea that you're looking for information: for that person to share some of himself with you.

Always bring something to the party.

Along with "yes, and"-ing, this is the cornerstone of good improv. It comes from the set-up where you're literally creating a scene that takes place at a party, and you're a guest showing up. But it's true for all scenes, and for impromptu scenes in life as well. What can you bring to the party? Depending on the circumstance, it could be something physical--a hostess gift, swag or a conversation-starter object; or something intangible, like introducing two people, offering help or just being an exceptionally charming addition to the affair.

Prepare, prepare, prepare.

When we would present new work at the agency, we'd rehearse those presentations over and over again. (And when we didn't, it showed.) And that was after putting a ton of thought and work into what we were presenting. I'd sweat everything, down to what gigantic earrings I'd wear. (Hey, it was the '80s.)

Likewise, when I was doing a scene or a film or a commercial, there was always some kind of preparation: acting rehearsal, technical rehearsal, wardrobe, makeup. Not to mention all the rehearsal I did on my own, memorizing lines, warming up, physicalizing the role. And, lest we forget (or get lost), there was plain and simply plotting out logistics: where was the gig, when would I have to leave, did I have everyone's numbers.

Even though there aren't any lines to memorize and SXSW isn't a performance, I've put a lot of preparation into it. Beyond the physical reservations--plane, conference, hotel, parking--I've mapped out a lot of the panels I want to attend. I've been figuring out which of my online friends are going and collecting numbers for my cell phone. And, because I to feel good about the impression I'm making, I designed new cards and redesigned the website (going live Thursday!)

The greatest thing about having a little preparation under my belt is how it frees me up to go with the flow in the moment. I'm sure not everything will go according to plan. I'm guessing I'll mess up or freeze up and look like an ass here and there.

But overall, I feel about as good as an introvert walking into extrovert paradise can. Wish me luck...and please, if there are any tips I missed, let me know...