Volume 1, Number 6 | October 2007
A few months ago, my boyfriend's brother and his fiancee approached me about officiating at their wedding.
Okay--that's a lie; they mentioned they were concerned about finding an officiant to marry them at this remote
location they'd chosen, and I immediately offered my services. Rather insistently.
It's something I've always wanted to try, and I was thrilled (not to mention honored!) to have been given the
opportunity. But immediately, I was faced with a ridiculous learning curve. Not only that, but I needed to master it well enough in a few short
months to look like I'd been born marrying people.
As I write this, the wedding has yet to take place--meaning, things could still go terribly, terribly wrong. And
frankly, if my experience as a bystander at other weddings and events is any indication, something will go wrong. But I'm surprisingly sanguine about
the prospect, for one simple reason: I'm prepared enough that if there were a Boy Scouts medal for this, I'd be wearing it on my officiant's garment
come Saturday.
How did I get here from there? By applying a few ridiculously basic principles.
1. Give yourself ample time to get your ducks in a row.
A totally new-to-you endeavor is not the time to wing it. Even if you have experience in a lot of areas
tangential to the new thing you're trying, if it's your first at-bat for the thing itself, give yourself extra time.
If you're producing a new marketing piece--an annual report, say--it doesn't matter that you've produced lots of
lengthy brochures or the world's biggest website; The New Thing is different, and will have its own peculiarities. If you're working up a new pitch,
or pitching to a different type of prospect, more time. If you're auditioning for a different medium or casting director, more time. If you're giving
a new speech, more time.
Ironically, having more time also frees you up to access the experience you do have. In prepping this ceremony,
I was able to draw upon my skills and knowledge base from acting and even advertising. When I'm panicked, those ideas just don't flow as
freely.
2. Ask for help.
In a world where we're all increasingly busy and isolated, not to mention where everything is a Google search
away, it's too easy to forget to reach out. Don't--do it! You'll gain valuable information and you'll give someone else a chance to feel useful.
Of course, you don't want to abuse the privilege: use your sources to fill in the gaps, or to illuminate dark
corners and help you navigate blind alleyways, but don't expect them to do everything.
In this case, I got help from my ex-husband, who's officiated at a slew of weddings, and from my Toastmasters
club, who helped me rehearse an early version of the ceremony, and gave great feedback on what was and wasn't working. All invaluable information,
and they were delighted to be of service.
3. Have fun.
This looks like the silliest advice of all, but really, the older I get,
the more I see how useful the principle is when applied to anything.
If you are having fun giving the speech, your audience will have more fun
listening to it. If you are having fun writing your book, your readers will have more fun reading it. If you are having fun on stage, at the
computer, at a networking event, etc., ad infinitum, people around you will have more fun.
And the more fun people have, the better the chance your message will
"land" and stick.
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